Gundam through the looking glass
by Eien Mori
Summary: Just a parody of the show in general, but with extra craziness. Pg-13 for sexual references sarcastic yaoi


Gundam Through the Looking glass  
  
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Hehe, just some craziness 'cause I was bored. M 15 for sexual references/ sarcastic yaoi  
  
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Narrator: The year is After Colony 195...  
  
Zechs: ...Who are you anyway?  
  
Narrator: I'm the narrator. I tell people what's going on.  
  
Zechs: So you think you know what everyone thinks, what everyone does?  
  
Narrator: Of course, I'm the Omniscient Narrator!  
  
Zechs: Can you guess what I'm gonna do next?  
  
Narrator: Ummmm....  
  
THWACK!!!  
  
Zechs: My hands, they are too stained with blood...  
  
Relena: My name is Relena, what's yours?  
  
Doctor J: Heero, I am your father.  
  
Everyone: Sweatdrops.  
  
Heero: I'll kill you.  
  
Relena: No Heero, you promised you'd kill me. You can't go around killing other  
people when you've said you'll kill me. You're always whoring yourself to  
the public to "boost our ratings."  
  
Duo: He tried to kill me, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it  
  
Fangirls: AWWWW.... Kawaii ne!  
  
Relena: Heero you can only kill me and maybe my brother, not some little monkey-rat  
from the colony streets.  
  
Duo: Hey lady, no one steals the God of Death's boy away from him  
  
Relena: I cannot kill you because of my absolute pacifism. So go, Pagan, I choose  
you!  
  
Quatre: The Pink Limo of doom. My sisters warned me about this.  
  
Dorothy: [Singing whilst leaning from limo window] "We all live in a pink  
limousine"  
  
Zechs: What is that?  
  
Sally: A pink limo and a blonde with died grey, split eyebrows? Heero, I have one last  
request.  
  
Heero: Again?  
  
Sally: Just destroy that Limo!  
  
Heero: Mission denied.  
  
Sally: Wufei? We are weak and cannot defeat the pink limo of doom and psycho  
blond warmonger by ourselves. Join our cause...  
  
Wufei: Fine. Taste justice freak!  
  
Destroys Limo  
  
Wufei: Nataku, I am too weak. I can only destroy pink limos. denounce me.  
  
Nataku: Ok. Get lost.  
  
Treize: Anyway... you must learn some subtlety, Dorothy, the world is a confined  
space; we can't go around polluting it with bad eyebrows and limos.  
  
Dorothy: My eyebrows are beautiful... like war... and death... and fat-free muffins  
  
Trowa: You eat fat free muffins?  
  
Dorothy: Of course! You eat full-fat stuff?  
  
Trowa: No, I don't eat anything. How else could I fit into these pants and not have to  
take a toilet break when fighting in my Gundam?  
  
Duo: I haven't eaten since I was a baby. We had to give all of our food to pimp-daddy  
solo and Father Maxwell and Professor G wouldn't let me eat cause they didn't  
want me to ruin my figure.  
  
Trowa: That explains a lot.  
  
Duo: What are you implying?  
  
Trowa: Nothing, nothing, but maybe you should come with me to Quatre's house for  
a soirée...  
  
Duo: I don't want to see you take Quatre!  
  
Quatre: Take me where?  
  
Everyone: Sweatdrops  
  
Catherine: Omg, Trowa spoke. Everyone, come here, Trowa spoke. OMG PEOPLE  
THIS IS SPECIAL!  
  
Quatre: Actually, he talks all the time, just not when you're around.  
  
Catherine: WHAT? Trowa don't you even love your own sister? [draws a couple of  
knives] Do you want to die dear brother?  
  
Narrator: Actually there isn't any conclusive proof that Trowa is Catherine's brother.  
  
Zechs: Didn't you get enough the first time? Go, Epyon  
  
Relena: Stop it Zechs. If you're a true knight of Peacecraft-  
  
Treize: -Actually, miss Relena, Zechs is your brother.  
  
Relena: I know, but I have a script to follow. Anyway, you can't kill that guy!  
  
Noin: Relena... I trust Zechs; he won't kill him.  
  
Zechs: Die!  
  
Relena: Well-done, Lucy.  
  
Noin: [Looking sideways] Ok, I deserve your contempt but I can't help it. I love him.  
  
Wufei: Hands up anyone who hadn't worked it out by the end of episode 3. No one?  
Right.  
  
Duo: You just can't trust a 19-year-old guy who plays with 5 young boys.  
  
Lady Une: [over the intercom] anorexic teenagers, stop this at once or I'll destroy the  
colonies.  
  
Treize: We are just having some fun, Lady. Try to be a bit more light hearted  
  
Une: Mr Treize, forgive me. For peace. Hahaha. Die Gundam pilots. Sniff, cry.  
  
Trowa: How many personalities does she have now?  
  
Quatre: 23.5 and rising. And there's a 43.788889% chance we can reduce it to one.  
  
Dorothy: Pathetic girlboy, where did you get that number from? Damn built- in Zero  
system.  
  
Duo: Whatever... There's a 100% chance we can reduce it to zero.  
  
Heero: Mission Accepted.  
  
End  
  
Hilde: [walking into Duo's house] Sorry I'm late, those damn fangirls wanted to  
decapitate me with miniature scythes and plastic buster cannons.  
  
Duo: [upstairs] Crap! Heero, I think I hear Hilde coming... Hide under the bed and try  
not to blow yourself up.  
  
Hilde: [walking in on Heero trying to get under the bed] what's going on?  
  
Duo: He was trying to kill me.  
  
Hilde: That's my job!  
  
Relena: And you're meant to be killing me!  
  
Heero: Relena, how did you get here?  
  
Relena: I hid in your spandex, that's the advantage of having a 2-inch wasteline.  
  
Duo: Heero! And I though you were just pleased to see me. 


End file.
